Your first year in a new school environment can be difficult. On top of lesson planning, you have to set up your classroom, navigate your way around a new school layout, develop relationships with staff and administration, and work on building rapport with the students. If you’re in a challenging middle or high school environment, building rapport with students may be the most difficult task on that list.
Though you are an authority figure in your classroom (and around the halls, when it comes to your relationship with students), you may not be seen that way immediately. Even the best students may give respect, but not credibility or acceptance until you’ve proven yourself. Building rapport will not come easily, but will pay in dividends.
You Hold the Power to Redefine Yourself when Building Rapport
As a new teacher (whether new to the profession or just new to the school), you weld the power to redefine who you are. You can come in as a power-heavy, strong-arming students into compliance, or you can take a less abrasive approach. The power is in your hands. When you think about building rapport with students, a less aggressive way may be the answer.
An authoritarian teacher may gain (not earn) the respect of some students, but will not assimilate to the school culture easily. Even in those challenging upper school environments where gang prevalence, drug usage, and behavior problems are abound, students are often looking for more than a lesson. They intuitively crave a safe space, a confidant, a mutually-respectful connection with an authority figure. Taking a gentler approach may be much more effective in strengthening that bond and building their trust in you.
Scenarios and Solutions
Consider these real-life scenarios and recommended solutions when building rapport in a new environment.
“I intercepted notes from a group of girls in my class. The notes were all about me. They wanted to get me fired. I want them to “get” me and this just stings.”
First of all, keep in mind that preteens and teens are still developing and have trouble understanding the consequences of their own words. That said, they should be accountable for their words which means you will need to teach them the power they hold.
*Lesson Idea: Consider teaching a unit on empathy. I did a full three-week unit on the Holocaust that asked students to place themselves in that time and place to anticipate their own behaviors and reactions. Ask their students if they are okay with the effects of being a bystander or perpetrator.
“I am assigned hall duty during one of my planning periods. Since I encounter many students that I do not have in my classes, they do not show me respect like I feel I deserve. How can I get them to understand that I am the authority in the hallway?”
To start, acknowledge that these students do not know you and therefore have not deemed you worthy of respect. If these are students that you will be encountering on a regular basis, make an effort to get to know them. Joke with them. Ask them questions. Share interests. Most importantly, treat them with respect. Sometimes, you have to give it to get it.
*Lesson Idea: Lessons are not always taught formally in the classroom. Practice responsive phrases that would help students understand your position as you attempt to enforce the school policies and procedures. Put yourself in the shoes of your students. If you were “caught” away from where you were supposed to be and were approached aggressively, you’d likely react poorly in return. Assume good intent in your students as you encourage good behavior.
“I am thinking that I may be giving too many chances and it is negatively affecting my class. Students are starting to assume the rules are flexible and they can talk out of turn, behave poorly, misuse classroom supplies, and interrupt frequently. How do I cultivate a classroom culture that supports my students but also enforces rules and order?”
Expectations and consequences should be consistent and clearly presented up front. Your first step is to ensure students understand the rules and why they are in place. (There are always circumstances where you have to use common sense but your expectations and consequences should always be doled out in a fair and appropriate manner.) Consistency is key. Helping your students to understand why the rules are in place may get them on board. For the more resistant types, encourage buy-in to class culture by offering praise when rules are followed.
*Lesson Idea: Allow students to have some input on rules, expectations, and consequences. Establish classroom rules early and revisit often. When classroom issues do arise, use a behavior contract to work with the student to recognize the problematic behavior and identify appropriate consequences for their actions. Having them take ownership over this process should feel less like a punishment and more like a teachable moment.
“Recently on an online assignment, one of my students used the username “Mike Oxlong.” (Read it slowly if you’re missing the innuendo.) Others have used “Mike Hunt.” How do I deal with this?”
Two points to make here. First, have a sense of humor. Students are going to be vulgar and inappropriate at every opportunity. As long as they are not hurting anyone or being offensive in any way, choose your battles wisely. Another great tool for this type of student behavior is playing dumb. If they don’t get the attention they seek, they’ll eventually stop trying.
*Lesson Idea: One great lesson that is valuable for all middle and high school students is the power of the word. Teach a lesson on the long-term effects of what they say and do. The reality is that higher education institutions and potential employers are looking at social media, online presence, and anything they can dig up on potential candidates. While a username on a class assignment may seem “harmless,” it can have long-term unintended consequences. Encourage humor as a means of communication, but help students distinguish between humorous and crudeness or vulgarity.
Building Rapport Comes with Showing Your Humanity
Students need to know that you are human. Tell them that. Help them understand that you know you need to, and intend to, earn their respect. Remind them you are trying to be there for them, to help them learn and grow. Encourage them to buy-in to your character development alongside their own. Humanizing yourself can go a long way to building rapport with students.
Happy Teaching!
